When I was in my early twenties, a bachelor\u2019s student in Tel Aviv, I felt like the whole world was opening up before me. I loved the atmosphere on campus, I was studying in two faculties, and I enjoyed jumping between them, the \u201cboth and\u201d feeling.<\/p>\n\n
Alongside all this richness, I started feeling a sense of missed opportunity \u2014 even before the era of social media, which only amplified this feeling over the years.<\/p>\n\n
I felt there were so many things I hadn\u2019t done, and I was horrified at the thought that maybe it was already too late to start now. I was surrounded by talented people in various fields at the Faculty of Arts \u2014 people who from age three knew what they wanted to do and worked toward it \u2014 and I loved everything but hadn\u2019t specialized in anything yet.<\/p>\n\n
Of all the fields, what hurt me the most was my limited experience with music studies, which amounted to a year and a half of recorder lessons in second grade. Even then, I was far from excelling (to put it mildly).<\/p>\n\n
I wanted to play, I wanted to learn to read sheet music, I wanted to understand music \u2014 I was no longer satisfied with just listening.<\/p>\n\n
I wanted to play the cello. Something about its size and the way it\u2019s held against the body spoke to me. Unlike many fleeting thoughts in my idea highway, this one stayed firm and refused to go away as time passed. It hurt a lot. From the vantage point of 22 years old, I felt I was already too old to learn something new, that there was no chance I could do it, and who would want to teach someone at this stage in life, with zero experience and knowledge?<\/p>\n\n
At some point, the pain of missed opportunity outweighed the fear of failure, and I decided to go for it \u2014 I decided to try.<\/p>\n\n
I rented a cello at a shop on Allenby Street and found a really sweet and talented teacher, enthusiastic about the new and unusual challenge (the wonderful Tom Kelner \u2014 as far as I know, she\u2019s been living in Berlin for a few years now, but my musician friends will correct me if I\u2019m wrong).<\/p>\n\n
It wasn\u2019t easy. I had to redefine my goal \u2014 from \u201cwanting to play entire pieces freely\u201d to \u201cknowing how to play and understand the instrument at some level.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
After a few months, I stopped. It\u2019s hard to say exactly why in hindsight. I don\u2019t think I gave up or broke down. The ending feels more like a feeling that I understood what it was about and achieved what I wanted \u2014 the experience of capability and the permission to try anything I want at any stage in life.<\/p>\n\n
Today I understand that I was a kid! How quickly I gave up the possibility to learn something new.<\/p>\n\n
If I met a cello today \u2014 I wouldn\u2019t know what to do with it. It would probably look at me skeptically and immediately see I have no clue. I really don\u2019t, so what? We had a short, passionate, and nice romance \u2014 and that too has value.<\/p>\n\n
I\u2019m left with the question: \u201cWhat would have happened if I had continued?\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Of course, I don\u2019t have the answer. I want to believe I could have reached a high level of familiarity with the instrument and the language, if only I had wanted to.<\/p>\n\n
The therapeutic language, on the other hand, has been familiar to me since childhood, as a client. Over time, it\u2019s becoming part of me, especially since I\u2019ve become a therapist myself. This game of musical chairs becomes more intense \u2014 I run between the therapist\u2019s chair and the client\u2019s chair \u2014 and as time goes on, I understand how much the two chairs have in common.<\/p>\n\n
At the beginning of every therapy session, there is that moment when that sweet girl with the cello peeks through the curtain and sends me greetings from the past. It\u2019s the moment when the client tries for the first time to understand what they\u2019re actually doing with me, what will happen here, how we will harness the tools and the connection between us into something helpful and healing.<\/p>\n\n
This is the moment I feel my role is to teach a language. Therapy is a language \u2014 a unique situation, very different from routine, containing the essence of life experiences and a unique invitation to bring yourself authentically for a shared reflection on what was, what is happening, and what will be.<\/p>\n\n
It\u2019s a very abstract language, and in the current era, it\u2019s becoming more elusive. That\u2019s why it\u2019s also very important \u2014 it invites pause, sharing, depth, and reflection in an age of fast lanes where our ability to focus and pay attention is constantly shrinking.<\/p>\n\n
Every language leaves something with us to take forward. Even if we don\u2019t reach native fluency, we gain something for life \u2014 a phrase, an experience, slang, something that stays with us and makes us feel more whole.<\/p>\n\n
Therapy is a language that stays in the soul long after it ends. I know this as a client, and happily, I also hear it from clients and parents who contact me years later, marveling at the lasting impact of therapy \u2014 at the implementation of tools that helped build mental resilience and a strong self-esteem that isn\u2019t easily influenced by external events.<\/p>\n\n
I still envy the cello a bit, just as I still envy a successful play or performance where the artists are authentic and demonstrate talent effortlessly.<\/p>\n\n
As time passes, I\u2019m learning to turn the missed opportunities into sweetness, to breathe in the beauty and charisma, and to be grateful for a pleasant moment of grace \u2014 the chance to witness or participate from my special place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Therapy is a language that stays in the soul long after it ends. I know this from my own experience as a client, and thankfully, I also hear it from clients and parents who get in touch with me years after the therapy has finished. They express amazement at the ongoing impact of the therapy, the implementation of tools that helped build mental resilience and a strong self-esteem\u2014one that is not easily shaken by external events.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6467,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[141,114,112,143,116,144,142],"class_list":["post-6466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1","tag-cello","tag-it-is-never-too-late","tag-learning","tag-lesson","tag-missed-opportunity","tag-music","tag-playing"],"yoast_head":"